Explanation
At times, I sense that people somehow manage to overlook my presence. Initially, when a new bond forms between someone and me, our interactions are filled with engaging conversations and shared activities as an example, playing videogames. Essentially, we enjoy each other's company thoroughly. However, after a certain period, which could vary from days to weeks, I notice a shift. The person begins to forget details about me, including our discussions and the unique moments we shared. They repeat questions and stories, and gradually, their initiative to reach out or inquire about my life fades away. This pattern escalates to a point where it seems they only retain the most basic information about me, leading to a noticeable decline in their interest and care.
This recurring experience leads me to ponder on the nature of these connections. Am I inherently uninteresting or dull, or have I just been consistently unfortunate in encountering individuals with a fleeting memory? This theory, however, seems less plausible when I observe their ability to recall intricate details about other 'friends'. It's easy to speculate that perhaps these people are overwhelmed by the number of friendships they maintain, diminishing their capacity to invest as much as I do. Yet, this explanation falls short, especially considering our conversations about mutual friends during times of closer connection. Even within my family, the relationship with my brothers is strikingly indifferent, akin to mere acquaintances living under the same roof, without deeper emotional ties.
The enthusiasm others show at the beginning of our acquaintance sets a promising tone, only for it to dwindle inexplicably over time. I'm left to wonder about the cause of this apparent disappointment. The stark reality that if I were to vanish from discord and social media in general for a month, not a single soul would question my absence, solidifies these feelings of being forgotten. This realization not only deepens the mystery but also amplifies the solitude that emerges from these patterns of fleeting connections and unmet expectations.
Farewells
It looks like this has come to an end. It lasted only about couple of months, which is actually surprising considering that people usually stop talking after about a week on average. But it's whatever.
I'm used to it by now. I have thought about why this always happens to me, and I think I may have figured it out. However, there's not much I can do about it.
I have self-respect and I'm not going to water dead plants.
With that being said, the healthiest thing I could do right now moving forward, is to just focus on my own grind. I need to work on myself and maybe, just maybe, then people will acknowledge me of who I am.
